nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
