hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
