Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize