I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
