We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
