Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Randomize
