I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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