Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
