sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
