So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
