I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
