i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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