Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize