Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
