On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
