Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
