i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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