Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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