Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
