Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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