actually, I'm a sock model
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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