I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
