He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
