I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
