Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
