also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
we should paint friendship bongs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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