grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and you said cock pushups were impossible
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
