Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
