do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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