Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
