I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize