I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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