She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
