so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
