Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
