He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
