yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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