just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize