I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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