You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
