omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
