It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
