Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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