it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
