There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
