I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
