Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
