The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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