Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
