So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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