Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
