i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize