i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize