To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
dude. I can hear the air.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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