She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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