There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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