Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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