dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
