Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
