shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
