OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
