My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
